Sounds like life to me

Distress signal received from USS VIKING. The ship was last seen going off the deep end in the turbulent waters near the Isle of Sleep Training and the string of islands known as Teething. The ship's captain, Viking Erica (aka "Mama") was last heard uttering a string of curse words and wailing on the ship's radio. The ship's lone crew member on this trip, Viking Joshua (aka "Smoosh") is reportedly with the captain, though it's unknown if his grumpiness has killed the captain or if the two are somewhere together crying and gnashing their teeth (so to speak). The ship's remaining crew, Co-Captain Viking Mike (aka "Daddy") and Viking Nathan (aka "Stomp") are said to be concerned though they feel a little vacation may be in order. If you spot the ship, DO NOT APPROACH. Crew members may be very bitey (both figuratively and literally) and are not fit for human companionship at this juncture. Simply report the ship's location (ie. "off the deep end"), order the ship a case of Red Bull and go on your way.**

**Note**This was so much funnier at 3:00 a.m. when I mentally composed it**