Friday, March 23, 2012

Keep your eyes open

Because I live under a rock deep within a cornfield, I wasn't on The Hunger Games bandwagon like everyone else. In fact, until very recently I'd assumed it was a Twilight-esque freak-fest. I, of course, have since looked into it and am downright giddy about reading the books and seeing the movie, in no small part because of the soundtrack. I have been playing the schmidt out of this little number by Taylor Swift (which, fyi, is my new theme song):

"Every lesson forms a new scar
They never thought you'd make it this far
But turn around, oh they've surrounded you
It's a showdown, and nobody comes to save you now"

I don't think it's news to anyone that I'm something of an opinionated loudmouth gal. I like to think I'm a strong, confident woman (especially after all I've been through fertility-wise). "Cowgirls don't cry" has been my motto and theme song as long as I can remember. But in the last several weeks, I've caught a lot of criticism and insults from people who were supposed to be friends. The details aren't important, really.

"Even when you're sleeping, keep your eyes open"

But it's brought about an almost porcupine-like reflex in me. I'm a little extra bitey and a lot more prickly. My guard has come up and I feel like I'm having an almost fight-or-flight response.

"Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown"

I'm not a girl who is prone to mental breakdowns and histrionics. So if you're one of those waiting to see what happens when too much schmidt gets piled on top of me, you're going to be disappointed. I keep the faith and more importantly, I keep the smile. I'm also not one to take the words of a select few too much to heart. You might get into my head causing me to question some things around me and be on my toes, but you'll never get into my heart where I know my true worth.

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