I am not dead, I swear.
I did, however, drop off the face of the planet for a while.
I've been feeling...disjointed. A little disconnected. Just plain ole wonky.
I'm not sure what it is. Depression maybe? I've never really dealt with it (except that surly, angsty, teenager crap). Fatigue brought on by having an almost 1 year old and 2 older boys home from school? The allergies and the itchy rash that won't go away? The headaches and the sinuses and the books that are always on the floor and the never getting any time to myself and oh my God I can't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep? I'm not sure. Whatever it is, I've been drawing inward. Reclusive. Shielding me and my moods from the world. What I half-jokingly call "hermit mode".
I've been reading. Positively devouring Poe, Whitman, Lovecraft. I've been keeping up with the every day life stuff, because you're mom and you don't get a sick day or a mental health day, you just get days...of the same old crap. I've been watching Empire Records 2, 3, 4 times a week. Because that movie makes me smile.
And I've been getting through. Because what are you gonna do? You don't get to give up. Or have a breakdown. You just get to keep on keepin' on.