Sunday, July 29, 2012

We are shaped by the light we let through us

You know how music can get down in your soul and become such a part of you it becomes part of your personality? Just one more quirk in your identity? Or how a song or an artist or a lyric can pull you through the darkest of days, the longest of nights, the dredges of the sewer?

There have been some dark days lately. Days where I feel like the attacks won't stop and the dishes will never be clean and the baby won't stop fussing and I can't stop crying. I've actually put together a couple of "bad day" playlists. Stone Sour. Thompson Square. Dishwalla. Alice in Chains. EmmyLou Harris. Counting Crows. The Civil Wars. George Strait. And Pink Floyd. Lots and lots and freaking lots of Pink Floyd.

The baby is cutting molars and has been a little extra grumpus-wumpus lately. But for some reason, he instantly stops crying, grabs his thumb and lays his head down every time I put "Comfortably Numb" or "Hey You" on. It's funny because I too am soothed by the timeless sound of PF and it's not exactly the most upbeat or optimistic music to listen to. But there's something inherently comforting about the anguish in the scream in "Comfortably Numb". Perhaps it's knowing someone's been there. Perhaps it's not feeling so alone. Perhaps misery just loves company. All I know is that it works miracles in this house.

In addition to the non-stop Floyd, certain lyrics have embedded themselves into my soul. I repeat them like a mantra. Another way to soothe the soul and heal the hurt. "Tomorrow will be kinder". "Cowgirls don't cry". "Don't help them to bury the light". "Even when you're sleepin, keep your eyes open". "But one thing they don't tell you about the blues if you got 'em is you keep on fallin cuz there ain't no bottom". "I just keep losing myself". "We may shine, we may shatter, we may be picking up the pieces here on after. We are fragile, we are human and we are shaped by the light we let through us and we break fast, we are glass."

So tonight, I'll leave you not with Pink Floyd, but with a little Thompson Square. A little something more upbeat, a little something sweeter. Enjoy. And feel free to tell me what music saves your weary soul.

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