Are you the man they call "Ugly"?

As far as Mamas go, I think I'm pretty patient. I don't lose my schmidt every single second more than once a day or so and I generally do okay with teaching new concepts, helping with homework, etc. All that being said, teaching Stomp to tie his shoes is flat out going to be the death of me. Why is this concept so complicated? Why is it so insanely hard to teach little fingers how to make the bows and then wrap them around? Am I the worst teacher ever? Is it because it took me 32 years so freakin long to learn myself? Is this a universally difficult concept? Will Stomp and I survive this "learning experience"? Will he go to college wearing velcro shoes? Are we playing the questions game?

No seriously, any Mamas got any miracle cures fancy tips to make this a process that's less painful for all involved?